head over feet
~alanis morisette

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I am not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

Chorus
You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

Repeat Chorus

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thank you for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

Repeat Chorus

h8!!!!!

i hate you for letting me fall for you inspite of me. . .

when . . .

When you smiled

I turned to my right, and I see you
I see you smile at me
Your eyes, wicked and soft,
And your smile
Oh, your smile
You smile as if you relish the fact
That my cheeks are flaming
Because you’re smiling straight into my eyes
And I feel giddy
I look away; I can’t bear the thought
That maybe
Just maybe

Perhaps I assume too much

I turn to my right, and I see you
I see you smiling at me
Your eyes, piercing and beautiful
And your smile
Oh, your smile
You smile as if you relish the fact
No, moment
Because my cheeks are flaming
And my heart is in my throat
And I feel goose bumps creeping all over
The look in your eyes says
Maybe
Just maybe

I look away
And
I
Smile

mahal kita p're

isang kwento ng kabangagan at pag-ibig...
Mahal Kita, P're
Syet! Kaya pala di ko mahagilap ang loko sa buong school ay dahil may bago
na namang kinalolokohan. Sabi, magbi-billiard daw kami, yun pala, kung anu-anong
extracurricular activities ang pinagkakaabalahan.
Hay, naku! Ang hirap talagang ma-inlove sa bestfriend mo. Walang
kasiguraduhan. Ang hirap pa nito, three years na kaming magkaibigan. Masyado
kaming malapit. Ultimo kaliit-liitang detalye sa buhay niya ay alam ko at gayon
din naman siya sa akin.
Ang tagal ko na palang inaalagaan itong pagsintang pururot na ito. Imagine,
three long years. Di man lang makahalata pagkamanhid manhid!!! hmp...pero
siyempre ayaw kong magpa-cute.. me pride 'to noh!..kahit hirap pigilin.
Actually, nag-ki-click kaming dalawa kasi pareho kami ng trip sa buhay. We
share the same hobbies. Sabi nga ng iba, bagay daw kami pero tatawanan lang
namin 'yun sabay magko-chorus ng "'di kami talo, 'no!"
"Lam mo kasi Meg, kung magdadamit babae ka lang, ano'ng panama ni Dawn
Zulueta sa'yo?" kantiyaw pa nila. Binatukan ko nga isa-isa. Loko'tong mga to,
ah! Tuturuan akong magdamit. Frankly speaking, tama sila. Boyish kasi ang dating
ko. Tapos 'yung mga hobbies ko, eh, panlalake pa. Pero babaeng-babae ako by
heart, take note! Nakasanayan ko na ang ganito mula nang mamatay ang parents ko
at matira ang apat na barako kong kapatid.
Alam lahat 'to ni Uriel, ang mahal kong bestfriend. Minsan, sabi nya sa
akin, "Sagutin mo na kasi ang isa sa mga manliligaw mo para foursome tayo pag
nag-date. AT saka p're, beauty ka naman, eh," Sabay akbay sa akin.
Mangani-ngani ko nang batukan. Ang hirap na ngang maghintay at umasa
bubuladas pa ng ganon. Actually, hindi ako comfortable sa mga bestida at palda.
Mas gusto ko pa 'yung maong at t-shirt with matching sneakers.
Pero teka, three hours na siyang wala ah! Ang tagal naman 'atang maghatid ng
babae niya. Baka kung saan na sila nagpunta. Naku! Huwag naman sana...doon.
Ehem! Dumating na ang loko. Kaasar! Ang ngiti, abot-tenga. "P're, teka lang!
Pumapanget ka, eh! 'Yung kilay mo, salubong na. Let me explain first", bungad
niya.
"Di ko alam na may brand new victim ka na naman", kanda-tulis ang nguso ko.
"Ah, si Irene, I met her when she approached me during the team practice. My
teammates introduced me to her. Kanina, coincidence lang na nagkita kami and she
asked me to accompany her to her friend's birthday so I joined her. I think
she's nice and I think too, that I'm in love with her," proud pa niyang sabi
sabay ngiti.
"Neknek mo. Mamaya diyan, mag-emote ka na naman gaya ng nangyari sa inyo ni
Crissy," sabi ko. Si Crissy girlfriend niya na niloko siya dahil tatlo pala
silang boyfriend nito.
"Well, this time, I'll make sure that it wont happen again."
"Tingin ko nga eh...kasi tatlong oras mo akong pinaghintay."
"Halika na nga. Iti-treat na lang kita."
Naging constant date ni Bespren si Irene na mukhang cellphone. Grrr, modesty
aside (ulit!), mas maganda pa ako sa mga naging girlfriends niya. Correction,
I'm not sourgraping 'coz I'm just telling the truth.
Hay, naku! Nakalimutan na 'ata ako. Two weeks na kaming di nagkikita. I
think he's serious about the girl. Later I found out that he's courting her.
Aray! Masakit, ah. Di na ko nasanay. Ilang babae na ba ang nagdaan sa buhay
niya? At ilang beses na ba akong... Tinigil ko na ang pagbilang.
Ni ha, ni ho, wala talaga. Palagi nang absent sa mga subjects namin.
Tinamaan ng lintik, bahala siya sa buhay niya. Di ko mahagilap.
One day, sa billiard hall...
"Meg, congratulate me, P're. Girlfriend ko na si Irene," di niya raw
tinigilan. Excited pa siya nu'ng binabalita sa akin. Nakuha raw sa tiyaga.
Parang hinang-hina ako. Kailangang sumandal ako. Tingin ko, bugbog-sarado na
ang puso ko.
"Really?", kuha ko pang ngumiti (plastic ako eh...)
"Mamaya, inuman tayo. Tayong dalawa lang. 'Lam mo, P're, aalagaan ko na
itong relationship ko with Irene. I love her very much," at nag-daydreaming na
ang loko. Sarap talagang batukan!
"Hoy, Mr. Uriel Martinez, baka nakakalimutan mo, ang dami mo nang absences.
At saka, may project tayo sa lahat ng subjects. Malapit na ang finals, mag-aral
ka naman. Porket nakilala mo lang 'yun, eh, nagkaganyan ka na," nakapameywang
kong sabi. Uriel is a constant scholar and I wonder kung mare-retain niya 'yun.
"With the girl of my dreams, mas lalo akong na-inspire ngayon. I'm gonna
talk to all professors."
Pinahiram ko siya ng mga notes and he survived. Uriel is every girl's dream
and ideal man. A varsity player, a consistent scholar and with the killer looks.
He's also immensely rich with good traits at may kaya rin ang pamilya niya.
After the final examinations, nanood kami ng "My Bestfriend's Wedding". Buti
nga, di sumama si "mukhang cellphone". Nayaya daw ng barkada, sabi ni Bespren.
Come to think of it, parang gusto kong mag-emote. Parang nakakarelate ako
pero Diyos ko, ayokong pong in the end, eh, ako ang magsasabing Please, oh God,
I love him very much.
There's one particular scene na talagang napaiyak ako agad. That's the
wedding scene. Feeling ko, ako si Julia. Iniisip ko pa lang na mawawala siya sa
akin, parang gusto ko nang mamatay.
"P're, ok ka lang? Napaka-senti mo pala. Paiyak-iyak ka pa diyan. Corny mo
ha! O, hayan, the end na. Let's go," sabay hila sa kamay ko.
'Langya 'to, ang daming sinabe eh kung bakit ako nag-eemote dito. Syet!
Napakalaking eskandalo. Kahiya!
Second semester...
"Meg, can I talk to you?" bungad niya sa akin pagpasok ko pa lang ng room.
It has been two weeks since the classes started.
"O, what's up? You look upset. Problem?"
"Sana, you'll understand. About Irene. You know from the very start that I
love her. Eh, ano, God, how will I say this? Meg, she's jealous of you. Masyado
raw tayong close. Bawas-bawasan ko raw ang pakikitungo ko sa'yo,"
he said trying to control his voice.
Shock naman ako. Ako, pagseselosan? Grabe. It's absurd. may tililing yata sa
ulo ang babaeng 'yun. Di ko 'ata alam kung paanong mag-react.
"O, ano? Tumahimik ka na diyan."
"E, kasi naman, sira-ulo pala 'yung girlfriend mo eh... alam naman niyang
magkaibigan na tayo eversince..."
"Selosa siya, P're. So please Pare, bear with me."
Actually, masakit. Dahil lang sa babaeng 'yun! Parang gusto kong sumbatan si
Bespren. Para kasing ipinagpalit niya ako sa babaeng 'yun, to think na matagal
na ang pinagsamahan namin.
Then he spoke, "Sana, 'wag kang mag-isip na mas pinahalagahan ko siya kaysa
sa iyo kaya lang, mahal na mahal ko siya, eh...Know what? Pag nakita mo na ang
lalaking para sa iyo at ma-inlove ka ng todo, maiintindihan mo ako."
Damn you, Uriel. Nagmamahal na ko, three years ago pa. "Okay, tama na.
Nag-monologue ka na diyan. Sige, didistansiya na muna ako."
"Di ka galit?"
"Of course not." (Plastic talaga ako eh...Orocan ang brand).
I can't imagine, all of a sudden, solo flight na ako. Wala na akong
kaututang-dila. Wala na akong kasama sa pag-bibilliard at pag-lalaro ng
basketball. Higit sa lahat, tumamlay na ang mundo ko.
Love means sacrifices and I'm ready for it. Okay lang, sana, maligaya siya
sa piling ng babaeng 'yun.
One afternoon, sa garden ng bahay namin, an unexpected visitor came...it's
Uriel.
"P're, inuman tayo," salubong agad niya sa akin. Mukhang problemado ang
mama.
"Himala ng mga himala. ano'ng milagro 'to? Buti, pinayagan ka ng bantay
mo?", sabi ko habang sini-switch ko 'yung radio. I chose an FM station. The song
"How do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood eh, naging background namin.
Quite romantic, isn't it?
Good Lord, buti na lang, wala ang mga asungot kong mga kapatid kundi
tutuksuhin na naman nila ako kay Uriel kasi they won't believe na friends lang
kami.
"Break na kami." Parang na-bingi ako sa sinabi niya.
"Paki-ulit nga."
"We parted ways. That woman, kagaya rin siya ng ibang babae."
Di ko alam kung magtatalon ako sa tuwa o makikisimpatiya ako sa kanya. I
went to the kitchen to prepare a merienda.
"Meg, 'yung beer."
"Hoy, Uriel, baka biglang dumating ang mga Kuya. O, etong mango juice. Teka,
ano ba'ng nangyari?"
"Curse her, Pare. I saw her with another man. Don't tell me na baka pinsan
niya 'yon or kapatid dahil they are actually kissing, sa lips. Then kanina, she
called it quits 'coz she's no longer happy with me. That girl, lahat ng kapritso
niya, sinunod ko even the most difficult one 'yung tungkol sa'yo tapos, ito pa
'yung gaganti niya."
"Pare, ba't gano'n lahat na lang ba ng mamahalin ko, eh, iiwanan ako?"
Napaiba ako ng direksyon. Gusto ko na kasing batukan. Nangangati na ang
kamay ko. Iiwanan daw siya, eh, hanggang ngayon, hopelessly in love pa rin ako
sa kanya.
"Meg, say something."
"Something."
"Corny! Ano? Para kang natigilan." Buti alam mo.
"E, kasi, hanap ka pa ng hanap kung saan-saan, eh, meron naman diyan
>>nagmamahal sa'yo ng lubos at matagal na niyang inaalagaan 'yon."
Shame! Lagot ako! Bruha talaga ako, baka makahalata. "What do you exactly
mean by that?"
"Err, what have I said? Kainin mo na nga 'yang cheesecake." Deadma galore
(palusot!)
"No, I heard it right. At sino naman 'yun?" Teka, ba't parang iba na ang
timplada ng mukha niya? At saka, ba't palapit na siya ng palapit? Tingin ko, ang
gwapo-gwapo niya. Ala! Nasa harapan ko na. Then inalis niya'yung bullcap ko.
Kinalag niya 'yung pagkakatali ng buhok ko. Bumigay ang buhok kong hanggang
baywang. Hey, what's this?
"Ah, eh. Ano-" Stop stammering. Damn!
"P're, talagang maganda ka na, noon pa man. But wait, sino ba 'yung sinasabi
mo?"
Now, his arms were wrapping my body. Aba, parang sumusobra na'to ah!
Pilit ko siyang tinutulak palayo pero ang higpit ng pagkakayakap sa akin.
"Hindi kita pakakawalan hangga't di mo sinasabi sa akin kung sino 'yun?"
"Blackmailer."
Huli na, wa na. Bistado na.
"Langya ka, Uriel, Matagal na kitang mahal. Di mo ba nahahalata? Ang tagal
kong itinago dahil baka pagtawanan mo lang ako," I'm hysterical and I can't stop
from crying. At long last, nasabi ko lang.
"Hush, honey. I have my fair share of confession, too. Mahal na kita, P're,
noon pa pero I have to ignore the feeling kasi kaibigan kita. Kaya ang dami kong
niligawan 'coz it's my way of forgetting you. Nang dumating si Irene, akala ko
siya na ang pwede kong ipagmalaki sa'yo. In fairness to Irene, minahal ko siya,
pero kanina, nabuhay 'yung pinakatagu-tago kong pag-ibig sa'yo.
SArap! kiligs ..
"Do I need to change my identity? Di ba tipo mo 'yung mga sophisticated
women?"
"Honey, nu'ng minahal kita, ganyan ka na talaga. By the way, I won't call
you pare anymore. Di ata magandang pakinggan, di ba?"
Pero kanina pa nakalingkis yung mga kamay niya sa akin, eh... Kumawala ako.
"Mr. Martinez, nakakahalata na ako, eh...Kanina ka pa," sabi ko, then he let
go of me. "One more thing, di kaya kailangan mo akong ligawan?"
"WHAAAT?"
"But of course."
"Pero-"
"No ifs, no buts."
"Okay, okay, I'll start today."

u lovd me just a bit

You loved me just a bit
by Vasile Andrei Tanasiciuc
On the page just past,
you were the wind in my mast,
when i thought that i just didnt fit,
but you went that extra mile
with a sincerity in your smile and
you loved me just a bit

No half hearted tolerance
but warmth in abundance
just a sparkle in your eyes, that's it
you gave me a chance
not just a fleeting glance and
you loved me just a bit

When dark clouds were to hover
and I was in need of some cover
You sheltered me with your spirit
Then held me by your side
restored my sense of pride and
you loved me just a bit

never ever

remember the movie? sure you do...
Never Been Kissed
by Josie Geller
Sun-Times Staff Writer

Someone once told me that to write well, you have to write what you know.
This is what I know.
I am twenty-five years old. I have never really kissed a guy. A geek to the
core, I spent most of my
childhood years doing extra homework I requested from the teacher. High school
was more of the same. Then, at seventeen, it seemed as if my luck was about to
change. The cutest guy in school asked me to the senior prom. But it turned out
to be a cruel joke. I have never fully recovered.
Yes, it is embarrassing to share this with the world. But it would be hard
to explain what I learned, and
how I learned it, with out sharing this humiliating history.
I received an assignment, my first as a reporter, to enroll in high school,
as a student, to gain some insight into kids today.
Understandably, returning to high school was my worst nightmare.
What I found? Those girls are still there. The ones that, even as you grow
up, will still be the most beautiful girls that you've ever seen close up. The
athletes, and the immense sense of fraternity and loyalty that they share. The
smart kids- who everyone else always knew as the brains. But who I just knew as
my soul mates, my
teachers, my friends.
And there's still that one guy, the one who is so perfect in every way. The
guy you get up and go to school for in the morning. Southglen would not have
been the same without him. High school would not be the same without him. I
would not have been the same without him.
All of these things made me miserable at seventeen. But at twenty-five I
finally see that this - all of this - is just the way it shoulld be. It is all
part of this thing called high school. A time in out lives that we can never
truly repeat. A time that makes us who we are, for years to come.
High school. Going through it the first time helped me make who I am. But
going there a second time made me see that who I am is okay. I always wanted to
be "in," but seven years later, when they finally opened the door, I somehow
gained the confidence to stay outside, firmly, happily.
A certain teacher was hurt in my path to self-discovery, and though this
article may serve as a step, it in no way makes up for what I did to him. To
this man, you know who you are, I am so sorry And I would like to add one more
thing.
I think I am in love with you.
And so I propose this. As an ending to this article, and, perhaps a
beginning to a new chapter in my life. I, Josie Geller, will be at the state
championship baseball game, where my friends, the Southglen Rams, are playing
for the title.
I will stand on the pitchers mound for the five minutes prior to the first
pitch. If this man accepts my apology, I ask him to come kiss me, in front of
everyone, for my first real kiss.
Five minutes may seem like a short time, but trust me, when you've been
waiting twenty-five years, it's usually the last five minutes that kill you.
I went back to high school and discovered I was a loser, again. And then I
discovered it wasn't so bad. I wasn't so bad. So now that I'm ready to start
living the rest of my life, it would be magical if I could live the rest of it
with him.
Because inside, everyone is a loser afraid to be loved, and out there is the
one person who can kiss us and make it all better.

to the day from the night

oh if only the darkness could speak...
To the Day from the Night
By: Sumire
How cruel can one be to another? Even if unknowingly?
How can one martyr another so painfully, in such agony?
For...
I love you.
It is strange, I know, for the darkness to seek to embrace the light and
its warmth, for the Night to love the Day. To love the Day so much that she
is willing to forsake all she has -- the darkness, the encompassing blankeet
she lets fall over the world, the gentle light of the moon and her stars...
all, just for the searing heat and painful light of the day. Even now I feel
in the deepest part of my being the warning that the centuries of my
existence have instilled in me... the warning that this love is the love of
the dying for her destroyer.
For do you know that the darkness before the light withers and dies as the
Night before the Day is destroyed by the searing heat of noon, by the
destroying light of love?
But still... whatever happens I cannot change the truth. And that is how
much I love you.
You turn your face towards the Morning, not hearing the words screaming
their bittersweet song deep in my heart. And sighing I remove thoughts of
myself from my mind, remembering and feeling that you have never -- ever --
even heard, or felt, or suspected what I feel. You have never seen the
glimmer of stars in my eyes whenever I see the shining light you bring, or
the flush of twilight that stains my cheeks in the warmth of your presence.
You have never seen! With every second that I see your blind eyes radiant
with incomprehension -- with misguidedness, for you think that you can see
past my dark mantle when you cannot -- I feel the thorn of pain driving
deeper into my heart. Have you ever thought how difficult it is to love when
the beloved is insensible to your thoughts? And loves another, expecting one
to rejoice in that love?
No. And you rise, drawing your light around you, stepping away from the
cherished moments of sunset -- a shifting second in the infinity of time --
then walking away. At the very last second, before you step over the golden
line of dawn, you turn back to me.
"Night?" Oh, to hear that voice of deepest vibrant gold throbbing in
love... for me, for me!... for but one moment! But dreams... are dreams, and
I, Mistress of shadows, know that. Perfectly.
I draw my darkness around me, growing deeper without your light.
"No," as a tendril of glittering stars gestures for you to go, "I'm fine."
I stop as the glowing halo of the Sun appears. The Sun, she without whom
you cannot live -- or so you say -- the Sun, who is your light and the coore
of your very being, as you are to me. The Sun, she who is cherished and
blessed, radiant and beautiful, bringer of life and banisher of the
darkness. She who is as different from my essence as the north is to the
south, as my darkness is to your light.
You love her, as you have for centuries. And I have been silently dying,
painfully wounded, all that time.
It is only natural for you to love her -- she, beloved of all. It is only
natural for you to seek the most beautiful and shining of your own kind, the
source of light. But still... as you cross the tinted line of dawn and reach
for her hand I cannot help feeling a fresh stab of pain in my heart that is
already wounded and unfeeling to hurt. Only hurt.
"Night," you say to me once again, as you and she turn to leave. Oh, Sun,
your smile of happiness mocks me!
"Yes," I reply, forcing a smile, a twinkling of a few stars, "go." If you
only knew how many glistening tears those two words are worth! Tears shed
for what could have been but could never, ever be reality... tears shed for
the impossible, for the inevitable.
But you will never know.
And I will keep on hoping, and waiting, and torturing myself with
listening and seeing you two shining in dazzling radiance, and wishing...
and loving. Yes, loving you with all the intense light my stars contain and
with all the steadfastness of my darkness.
And that is the way it will be... forever.

gawd

when will the time come when you'll love me?